Two year itch

Time and time again, I catch myself falling into the same cycle over the years. This cycle repeats itself every 2-3 years without fail. I chop my hair off after growing it out. We aren't talking about a small trim, we are talking about going from long (past shoulder blades) to short (between ear and top of shoulders).

I just get tired of all that hair and yearn for something new. Yes, I know it's beautiful. But do you know how much it actually weighs? Let me tell you, it's even worse after washing your hair. Whether it is good for my hair or not, I have to wring it out like a towel afer each shower.  

I remember doing it twice in college. Once in in 2001 or 2002 and again in 2004. I remember the exact date in 2004 because I had grown out my hair for my bestfriend's wedding. The day after the wedding, I had it all cut off. Just FYI, so you don't think I completely neglect my hair, I do go in for periodic trims or cuts in between chops.

It always takes me about a week or two after chopping off my long locks to get used to it. I will also try my damndest to style it during those two weeks. After that, I get lazy and let it just do it's own thing. Sometimes it looks good, usually not.

Anyways, it's time for a chop. I have been fighting the urge for a long while now. I specifically grew my hair out for the wedding this time around. But a few months ago when I saw the season finale of Glee, it took a lot of effort to combat the urge.

Gorgeous Dianna Argon and her new do. Image captured from last episode.

I think I said to the TV, "Hey, that's what I want my hair to look like!" Yes, I talk to the TV. My hair will only look like that when I step foot out of my salon. Just gotta suck it up for another 5.5 weeks.

32 days.

Chinese weddings - the modern

Today, Chinese weddings have merged with western weddings to create a new hybrid celebration. Sticking with the format from yesterday's post, let's get started. 

Pre-wedding:

 - Picking a lucky date. This is still done in today's times. But it also depends on how traditional one's parents are. Our friends N and N had to pick a lucky date. They met with a "lucky" woman and consulted the Chinese almanac. We, on the other hand, did not have to pick a lucky date. We just picked a date that worked for most people at the time (remember, this was almost 2 years ago). We picked our date well before the 2011 almanac was even published. Lucky for us (haha, pun), 8-20-2011 is an auspicious date.

- Installing the bridal bed. Aka, making the bed with red sheets and such. I know this is still done. It can happen one of two ways. One as a request of the uber traditional parents/grandparents. Or two, because the wedding party wants to prank you. I saw a photo on Facebook recently, but I can't seem to find it now. I have also heard of couples not telling anyone where they are staying the night of the wedding to completely avoid it at all costs.

Attire:

 - The groom has ditched the old digs and now sports a nice suit or a tuxedo the entire day. Sorry guys, you might have been more colorful in the past, but you are definitely dapper now.

 - The bride. Ummm....a modern bride has been known to change an average of three times. She will have an outfit for the tea ceremony. This is most likely the kwa. She will then change into the white wedding gown for the western vow ceremony. She will then change again for the reception. A lot of Chinese brides will wear the cheongsam/qipao for the reception. But here's the kicker, she will continue to change throughout the entire reception! I've heard of brides having 7 different dresses! Personally, I have never seen it in person. Photos, once. 

Pre-ceremony:

 - Chinese wedding door games. I have yet to see this in person actually. But I KNOW that it has happened to people I know. The bridal party plays a huge role...in fact, it is the main role of the bridal party. What is it? The groom and his groomsmen must come pick up the bride before heading off to the tea ceremony. However. The goom and his buddies are put through the ringer by the bridesmaids. The groom must pass a series of tests and obstacles before the bridemaids will let him "retrieve" his bride. Let me just say that some of these "obstacles" are quite embarrassing. I saw a photo of a friend (groom), who had a bikini on over his suit.

via Wedding Moments

Alice Hu Photography

Ceremony:

 - Tea ceremonies are not going away anytime soon. The timing of them has just changed. One can have it the day before. One could have it on the same day either before or after the western ceremony. One can have it the day after.

Mrs. Toucan and Mr. Toucan during tea ceremony. Image via Weddingbee

 - Western ceremony. Pretty self exaplanatory, I hope. Bride and groom can opt in for a vow ceremony.

Banquet/Reception:

 - The couple can choose to either throw a reception as we know it: cocktail hour followed by dinner (plated vs buffet style) and dancing. They can choose to throw a more traditional banquet feast with a multi-course meal. Or, they can choose to do both. We have had multiple friends have a traditional banquet overseas and a western reception State side. Here is a collage of a 12 course dinner from a wedding. Abalone, duck, fish, lobster/crab, sticky rice, long noodles, and fresh fruit are all stapes.

via Carmen Weddings

 - Toasting. Almost completely forgot to mention this. The bride and groom, parental units, and wedding party will go table to table and toast each one. As you can imagine, one can get pretty smashed if you are toasting with the real stuff and taking big gulps. One "tradition" that has started with the younger crowd, say your college friends, is that the ice bucket is emptied and any and all alcohol is poured into it. When the wedding party comes around to toast, someone has to drink the concoction! The groomsmen usually take one of the team, but ugh. For N and N's wedding, me and the bridesmaids hid towards the back of the train, toasted with water, and let the groomsmen take care of the "ice bucket."

 - Theme and decor. It is completely up to the couple on how they want the reception decorated. Modern times me added modern touches like floral center pieces. Although, I'm not sure why you would want to waste money on center pieces if you are having a traditional family style dinner since there will be no room left on the table. One thing I've noted in weddings in Hong Kong/China and in really asian weddings in the US is having the the bride and groom's first name on display. Maybe this is so that you know who's wedding it is?

I think the bride is the one in yellow. Image via Yours Truly Weddings

Well folks. There you have it. Chinese weddings in a nut shell. To be honest, I didn't do it justice. There is SO, SO, SO much more. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions or want to know more. I can conjur something up.

Here's a link to a fairly traditional, but yet modern Chinese wedding. It gives you a pretty good idea of how things look and play out.

Lipstick Love + Stunning kwa : Chinese Wedding : England : Part 1

Lipstick Love + Stunning kwa : Chinese Wedding : England : Part 2



35 days.

Chinese weddings - the old

Chinese weddings are rooted deep in tradition. There is so much to talk/research about that I don't have a clear idea of where or how to even start telling you about them.

Let's go back, way, way, way back in time. Back in the days where marriages were arranged. Back in the days when brides had dowry's. Back then, there was no such thing as first looks before the ceremony. Hell, the bride and groom didn't even get to see each other's faces until the end of the night when they were to consummate their marriage! 

Pre-wedding traditions (only touching a couple):

 - Picking a lucky date. The date of the wedding has to be a lucky one in order to bring luck, good fortune, and longevity to the couple. Date should be an even number of an even month, but cannot be during the Ghost Festival. There is an entire almanac that is published yearly with listings of what is a good date and what is not.

 - Installation of the bridal bed. This doesn't mean go out buy a new bed and set it up in the couples home. What is really means is that the sheets are changed to brand spanking new red sheets and blankets. Only people who were blessed with children were supposed to dress the bed. Little kids are encouraged to jump on the bed as to bless the couple with lots of children.

Growing up, this was my idea of a bridal bed, based on Chinese movie.
Image via Beijing Holiday

 - Combing of the brides hair. I'm pretty sure that I have only ever seen this done in movies. But knowing Chinese people and their love for traditions, I'm sure this is still done in reality. A comb is run through the brides hair four times. Each to signify a different blessing: together forever, happiness, children, and long life.

Now to get to the good stuff, you want to know what people wear! There were no wedding parties, thus there were no groomsmen or bridesmaids. Of course, people in attendence dressed in their best rags.

 - Exhibit 1: Ancient wedding attire. I'm not sure what the significance of the groom is blue is, but in movies, they always wear blue with a big red bow across their chest. A red cloth would be draped over the brides head piece as a veil. Can you imagine having to wear that thing all day long?

via Life Is Really Beautiful

 - Exhibit 2: Old school, but not ancient wedding attire. The difference between these photos is in what the brides are wearing. In first, the bride is wearing a two piece dress called a "kwa". Kwa's are traditionally worn by people in southern China. In the second photo, the bride is wearing what most people think of when you mention a mandarin collar dress or a Chinese dress. This is actually called a "cheongsam" or "qipao", and was originally worn by women in northern China.

via Life Is Really Beautiful

Kelly Niemann Photography (image cropped by me)

Ceremony:

 - The tea ceremony. This is the equivalent of vow exchange in a western wedding ceremony. There is a lot of bowing, kneeling, and serving of tea by the couple. The tea is served to the parents. As a sign of approval or blessing of the union, the parental units take a sip of the tea and shower the couple of gifts. These gifts are presented in small red envelopes called "li-see" or lucky envelopes. The envelopes usually contain cash in 8's* ($8, $88, $888, etc). In addition to cash, jewelry (gold and jade) is also gifted. After serving the parents, the bride and groom serve the remaining married family members in order of seniority. 

*8 is a REALLY lucky number as is sounds most closely to the word for prosperity in Chinese. To contrast, the number 4 is the worst number as it sounds like the word for die or death.

Two Teacups

Banquet:
Just like western weddings, there is a banquet thrown to celebrate the union. There are a couple of differences. One major one is that the guestlist is open to EVERYONE. I'm not kidding. Anyone your parents know, past or present, are invited. The woman that babysat you when you were 1 year old for 3 months? Yea, she and her entire household are also invited. The guy your dad does business with? Yea, him too, and his wife, and his grown children, AND their children. The theory behind this is that being able to marry you off (if you are the bride) or find you a wife (if you are the groom) is a HUGE milestone. It is a proud moment for your parents and they want to share it with the world. Also, Chinese people, while they are generally tight fisted with their money, are very generous when it comes to wedding presents. It is usually cash and a lot of it. Another difference is the food. Chinese wedding banquets are a feast full of food and drink. A multi-course meal is served family style and can last hours. Each course represents something or other. If you walk away hungry or sober, then the host (groom's parents) have not done their job.

- Theme and decor. There is only one color theme: red and gold. End of discussion. There are no flowers for boutinoueres or bouquets. There are no flowers for center pieces. BUT, there is signage. Double happiness, phoenix and dragon symbols galore. Where ever there is room, they will be place.

via china-cart

There is probably a whole slew of stuff that I don't know about or have forgotten to mention. Are you tired of reading yet? Because I'm tired of typing this up (it's taken me an entire day). Next up, I'll talk about modern Chinese weddings.

36 days.

My first tornado

I'm interrupting the constant stream of wedding updates to talk about something bigger and hopefully selfless. On June 1st, multiple tornadoes touched down and tore the western part of the state into shreds. I didn't even know that it was in the forecast. I was completely self absorbed in wedding crap or one of my other many first world problems. I don't think I even knew about the aftermath until DAYS after when I finally turned on the tv to hear about the devastation. 

Members of my company banded together and gave back to the community. We rolled up our sleeves. We revved up chainsaws. We brought in front loaders (yes, one person brought their front loader, thank goodness). We spread out in teams across different locations. And we made a difference.

It was a great afternoon out of the office. We built connections with folks that we don't normally work with. We applied teamwork We helped people.

Photos from a backyard in Southbridge, MA.


That pile of rubbish used to be a shed.

 

Before the devastation, the trees were so thick that you
couldn't see the neighbors on the other side of the creek.



*All photos taken by me*

We have a package?

Items that come in either a box or an envelope that are larger than our 4"x4" mailbox are delivered to the main office of our complex. The concierge (whom tends to be quite flaky) will then place a post-it note on our mailbox to let us know we have something to pick up.

Me: Hey, we have a package. What'd you order? I didn't order anything.

Jake: I don't know. I don't remember ordering something.

Me: Go get it.

*Jake returns with GIANT box*

Me: I seriously don't remember ordering anything. What did you order?

Jake: I don't know.

Me: Oh maybe it's something off of our registery from one of your aunts. I don't know anyone else that would just send us stuff.

Jake: Maybe.

Me: I bet it is. Hand me my knife.

*I carefully slices through the tape to open the box*

Me: Oooh, it's from Crate & Barrel. Definitely, didn't order anything.

Jake: Oh boy!

*I open the note attached (a super, cute, and sweet note)*

Me: IT'S FROM VAL AND MATT!!!! We got a present from Val and Matt!!

"Quick, snap a picture for the blog. Do you know what you are doing?"

Viv Martini Glass via Crate & Barrel
They match the existing set of wine and champagne glasses that Jake purchased awhile back.

Classic Margarita Glass via Crate & Barrel
Jake's Our margarita collection just doubled! We won't have
to use my our martini glasses at our next margarita party.



Thank you for the wonderful surprise Val and Matt! It was a sweet ending to a long day. We will put these to good use for sure.

43 days. The counter on our registery says 44 days. I'm going to go with the previous just to apply more pressure on myself.